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[21 Dec 2004|07:14am] |
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This will be my last entry for livejournal. . that is unless after I move I find some reason to keep exploiting my boring life.
As I mentioned, I am moving to New Port Richey Florida January 3rd.
Reasons? Well, it's pretty simple. OHIO IS EATING ME ALIVE. And for some other random reasons of course.
My bestfriend Lois is pregnant!!!! Everyone is really excited and happy about this. She is due June 3rd so of course I will be flying back home for the whole thing. Lois you and Michael are going to make amazing parents!
I am in love, Literally.
All in all my life is going extremely good. *sigh* It's about damn time.
Everyone have a wonderful holliday an take care of yourselves. I'll try to keep in touch as much as possible.
<3
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| you know you want to fill this out..... |
[09 Sep 2004|05:49am] |
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it?
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Have we ever had sex?
33. Do you miss me?
34. Do you think I miss you?
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| The Cure show |
[23 Aug 2004|11:20am] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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The Melvins |
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I completely forgot to write about The Cure show. I guess theres not much I can say really except fucking amazing.
If any of you miss the show August 4th, I pitty you.
Mike and I got there at 4 something and wondered around for 4 hours emptying our wallets on 9 dollar beers waiting to see Robert Smith do his thing.
I met up with ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) oiscout , his dad and his friend Russ. I have to admit, oiscout has one of the coolest dads ever. They ended up leaving early because the cure was playing all of the stuff off of thier new album but missed out because once they left it was all oldschool.
Everyone was dancing like nobodies buisness and Mike smoked a bunch of pot as expected haha.
I saw evil Sarah and also saw sinthetic676 but failed to say hello. I didn't want her thinking I was some creepy stalker girl since I really didn't think she would remember me as the girl from Club Luna when her boys band played there. Plus I know how it is to have people from LJ, MySpace and friendster to come up to you randomly at shows or bars. No offense but most of you do come off as wierdos, no offense I love you all.
That's about it, oh wait no it's not....on the way there I decided to have one beer since I wasn't driving, we packed a cooler figuring we could camp out in the parking lot before the show and drink some so we wouldn't have ot pay rediculous prices for drinks. Well anyways after I was done there was still a little less than a half a bottle and I was just planning on putting it in the trunk until later when we found a trash can. Mike decided against that and told me to throw it out the window, so i put the cap back on the bottle (or so i thought) and when i threw it beer went all over Mike and the inside of the windshield. It was rather hillarious. Thankfully there was a glove compartment full of napkins for me to clean up my mess. I am an idiot.
The ride home was pretty crazy too, Mike ran a red light right when we pulled out of the venue and of course, there was a state trouper right there. He pulled us over and said "well I am also going ot have ot ask you to step out of your vehicle because the smell of beer is really strong, how much have you had to drink tonight?" Mike and I didn't lie we told him "a few drinks during the show but that was 4 hours ago since we had them, we sobered up before we left" The cop was real cool and said well just because I have too I have to give you a sobriety test. Mike passed with flying colors but while that was going on the other cop came up and asked me to step out of the vehicle, once I did he asked me my age and I replied 22. He chuckled and said oh, ok you can get back in the car. I thought you were 16. I laughed histarically and made it clear that that was flattering and when I am 40 it should pay off looking so young. Yeah that is about it.
Enough said.
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[20 Aug 2004|05:26am] |
If anyone has ANY pictures of me please e-mail them to me at IXIinkisradIXI@aol.com
I had to re-install windows and lost everything. =(
I am rather disapointed.
The main ones I am looking to get back are most of the ones taken with my web cam and my old halloween ones of me as the dead/zombie nurse.
Anyways, it would be deeply appreciated if anyone can help out.
Thanks
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| Camping and Family Reunion |
[19 Aug 2004|08:40am] |
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Sorry for updating in an ass backwards order but I am flighty like that.
Last weekend I went camping to my dads cabin in West Virginia. We left Friday and came home Sunday evening. I don't feel like writing much so to make it short I had a blast. Rode 4 wheelers, cooked a steak dinner over an open fire, took beautiful pictures of wildlife and scenery along with Richard Geers summer cabin (yes you read that right, Richard Geer the actor. He has a cabin up higher on the mountain past my dads.) , drank beer with my dad and had a very bonding experience which we haven't had in a long time, and caught a turtle but then decided to let him go =( (he was cute I named him Darby).
Sunday was my 69th Lude Family reunion (my fathers side). It was at Barkcamp State park. I had a wonderful time, this is how I know I am getting older when I enjoy events such as this. While I was there I discovered that I am related to my good friend Elaine Dierkes which was extremely odd how it happened.
That about sums it up minus the details. I am going to go learn how to use some features on my new Paint Shop Pro 8.0 version. I love PSP.
later kids
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[18 Aug 2004|09:17am] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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Blink 182 featuring Robert Smith from The Cure (laugh it up) |
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Well this morning I woke up to some aweful news. My best friend Lois's mother passed away this morning. She also is my mothers best friend and was a second mother to me. She went into the hospital on Saturday evening because she had blacked out. Once she was admitted into the hospital her heart rate was at a 40 which is basically near death and she complained about how she felt really cold. The odd thing is once she arrived at the hospital she acted and functioned completely fine even with her heart rate so low. The doctors told her it had to do with her Gullbladder and they found Gullstones. They decided they were going to go ahead and perform surgery asap to remove them.
After the surgery everything was fine but then she was told that they made a mistake and there were NO gullstones and it turned out it was something completely diferent which right now I am not quite sure what they said it was. There was some kind of feeding bag or air bag inside her stomache during the after surgery recovery along with ivs and machines hooked up to her. She was to be released to go home this morning.
An hour after comming to from the sedatives she complained to the nurse about severe heartburn so of course the nurse told her she would bring her some medication for it. Ten minutes after the nurse left, Sue (deceased) flat lined. No doctors or nurses went into the room to attend to her until an hour and a half after she had flat lined.
Right now her body is in Toledo Ohio having an autopsy performed. They told all the nurses and doctors at the hospital that NO ONE, not even the doctors or nurses are to enter that room nor touch her body or remove any machines or ivs. They took her as is with machines and all to the autopsy. From what I was told they suspect it was due to a bad iv tube and basically it was the hospitals fault for her death.
Funny thing is this will be the 16th reported death due to this particular hospital's mistake if that is the case.
Lois is the sweetest girl in the world and it seems she never can catch a break. Her father died in a car accident when she was 7, she has Lupus and is sick herself and now this. My family and I are all she really has at this point. I just hope my friendship and support will somewhat help her through this. I honestly can't even imagine how it would be to go through what she has been through in her life. I know pitty is the last thing Lois would ever want but I can't help but to do so.
I don't know much more to say and I honestly would rather not discuss it anymore at this time. I will update later on about my camping trip I failed to inform all of you about.
</3 Anyways, I'm out nukka. </3
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[17 Aug 2004|05:02pm] |
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*.:Stolen from oiscout :.*
YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (NAME OF FIRST PET + STREET YOU GREW UP ON): G.G Elvira
YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (NAME OF YOUR FAVOURITE SNACK FOOD + GRANDFATHERS FIRST NAME): Pretzel Graydon (you can thank Germany for this one.)
YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (FIRST WORD YOU SEE ON YOUR LEFT + FAVOURITE RESTAURANT): Bad Outback
EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice + Last Foreign Vacation): Garlic Virginia (I have never been out of the states so this will have to work for last place outside of Ohio I have been.)
SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname + Town Where You First Partied): Ray Jay Youngstown (Tim Beardsley dubbed me this in the 2nd grade) or Turkey (I was born on Thanksgiving day so my family thinks it is cute to nickname me after an extremely ugly bird. Hey at least I taste good. ha!)
"FLY GIRL" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial + First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name): R. Lu
ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight + Any Liquid in Kitchen): Cherry Dawn
DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal + Where You Went to High School): Monkey Fitch
BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate + Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink): Ritz Bloody Mary
SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name + Street Where You First Lived): Karen Elvira
ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy + Last Name Of Favorite Musician): Lemonhead Danzig
Haha. I have to admit, I rather enjoyed filling this survey out.
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| miamihost.net is useless |
[03 Aug 2004|09:43am] |
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Well, since Miamihost.net keeps making my images broken images, I have to repost all my photos again.
I definately do not recomend that site to anyone for image hosting.
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[30 Jul 2004|09:40am] |
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[30 Jul 2004|08:08am] |
So who is going to see The Cure this Wednesday in Cuyahoga Falls?
Oh that's right.....
I AM!
SUCKAS!
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[30 Jul 2004|08:01am] |
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mood |
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smitten |
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music |
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Poe- That Day |
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those lips could kill
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| broken |
[24 Jul 2004|03:52am] |
Sagitarius
July 24th, 2004
Let's be honest. You've never really been the soul of willpower -- and never wanted to be. Explain that -- patiently -- to whoever is trying to 'save' you from yourself.
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[16 Jul 2004|02:09am] |
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music |
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Ramones- Pet Cememtary |
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I need a second job like I need oxygen.
Anyone know of anything available?
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[16 Jun 2004|09:22pm] |
It's funny, I thought it would last forever.
Now that it's all said and done I feel completely lost and alone. It is pretty scary to know that you only have yourself to count on in life.
On top of that mess I am broke. I did some sympathy shopping for myself along with getting a real cute hair cut. Now that I accumulated more cute cloths and undergarments I can't even afford to go anywhere to wear them.
I deserved it though, I haven't bought myself anything for a really long time.
I am going to go work on that mural I have been zoned out in. Once it is finally finished I will post a picture of it.
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[08 Jun 2004|12:05pm] |
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Autumns Monologue - From Autumn To Ashes
Oh why cant I be what you need
a new improved version of me
but I’m nothing so good
no I’m nothing
just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
of violence of love and of sorrow
I beg for just one more tomorrow
where you hold me down fold me in
deep deep deep in the heart of your sins
I break in two over you
I break in two
And each piece of me dies
And only you can give the breath of life
But you dont see me, you dont...
here I’m in between darkness and light
bleached and blinded by these nights
where im tossing and tortured til dawn
by you, visions of you then youre gone
the shock lifts the red from my face
when I hear someone’s taking my place
how could love be so thoughtless, so cruel
when all, all that I did was for you
I break in two over you
I break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life
but you dont see me you dont..
I break in two over you
I break in two
and each piece of me dies
and only you can give the breath of life
but you dont see me you don’t...
I break in two over you
I break in two over you, over you
I break in two
I would break in two for you
now you see me
now you don’t
now you need me
now you don’t
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Fiction We Live - From Autumn To Ashes
You might be just what I need
No I would not change a thing
Been dreaming of this so long
But we only exist in this song
The thing is, I’m not worth the sorrow
And if you come and meet me tomorrow
I will hold you down, fold you in
Deep, deep, deep in the fiction we live
I break in two over you
I break in two
And if a piece of you dies
Autumn, I will bring you back to life
Of course I see you
I do.
Keep in mind these two songs sound nothing like From Autumn To Ashes.
The second song, The Fiction We Live, is a reply to the first song, Autumns Monologue. You have to hear these two songs as well as see the lyrics to get the full effect. Maybe I am just becoming emo but I haven't had a song, let alone two songs, hit this close to home ever.
Some of us aren't as so lucky to recieve the same response as Autumn.
It's ok though, I am completely aware I live a fairytale. . but that fairytale keeps me going day to day. Maybe I come off as a stupid, gullable, steroetypical girl with visions of love story endings when reality is too harsh to cope with . . either way it doesn't matter. I still dream of that visit from him, the one with beautiful words only meant for me.
This is one of those days that instead of going to work I'd rather lay in bed and sleep off the heartache. Or go somewhere peaceful and just relax like a park or out at the lake . . oh, that's right, I don't have a car now . . ha! I fucking hate this situation. It needs to hurry up and blow over so I can get on with my life without feeling like this shell of a person.
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[25 May 2004|06:33am] |
What kind of fucking idiot posts thier phone numbers on livejournal? Some people, make me . . completely disgusted in the human race. I don't think they get any dummer than you.
On a more happier note, I had a fairly pleasant day yesterday.
I woke up early and went over to Paco's house to see the new baby with Junior. He is simply adorable and the most peaceful baby ever. Afterwards we stopped at April's new house since it was on the way. It is pretty small inside, I felt really closed in and started to feel like I was going to have a panic attack so we left.
I have never had a panic attack but I am assuming that is what the start of one feels like.
I will write more later, I need to go shower and prepare for my first morning shift at work... Oh goodie. I loathe mornings.
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[22 May 2004|05:12am] |
It is 5 a.m and I can't sleep.
So in the process of dreaming of sleep I have decided to chose who is being cut from my friends list.
If you end up on the list it is because of the following. .
- I am not interested in what you write about because it is either boring or the same old shit/crying about how aweful your life is. People like that I have come to loath. If you hate your fucking life so much do something about it, you obviously don't realize you do control your life.
- I don't ever talk to you or you never bother talking to me so why read your journal
Sorry. I am just in a bitter mood. There are only about 3 being taken off the list anyways.
One of those 3 is a person who is nothing but a liar.
Not to mention a fucking pig.
I still have no idea why I got so hung up on you in the past. Must have been that disguise of witt and sarcasm you wore so well.
Fuck it, I am going to bed.
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[15 May 2004|01:24pm] |
Today started off pretty good. I woke up early and instead of laying around in my PJ's and being a bum I washed my car inside and out and did some minor shopping.
I purchased new floor mats and an airfreshener with a built in fan for my car. Then dropped my sister off at her school for their end of the year dance. If any of you knew my sister you would be just as surprised as I am to hear such a thing as her going to a school dance, let alone any school function for that matter.
Later that night instead of going to sleep I went over to Brian's house.
We didn't do anything real exciting . .but . . as useual, I had a wonderful time. I miss hanging out with him, we used to be inseperable and then for a month or so we didn't see each other at all (Due to my new job and such).
We went to BP to get gas and say hello to Ken while he was working.
As expected, Ken demanded to put Dying Fetus in my cd player to hear what it sounded like with my oh so "ghetto fabulous" system. Needless to say I am partially deaf at the moment.
After that we went to Dunkin Donuts for a coffee coolata and then back to brian's house.
Great times.
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[13 May 2004|08:12am] |
I miss Bob.
That will be all for now.
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| I haven't forgotten |
[11 May 2004|11:54am] |
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Nothing exciting these past few days.
I painted a shed, well, stained it and put a water protectant on it, weeded a yard and planted bushes.
It has actually been quite depressing this week. I went to all of my deceased loved ones graves, friends and relatives last night.
I almost forgot what it felt like to cry or to truely feel alone.
It seems like just yesterday I was sitting and having conversations about life over coffee with Lauren. When in reality it has been 2 years. I miss her so much. It is heartbreaking to know the only person who really understood me is gone and I don't think that feeling will ever go away. I still sometimes wake up somewhat delerious/ half asleep and reach for the phone to call her then catch myself halfway through dialing her number. Not to sound like a loser but I think that is her way of letting me know she is still here and hasn't forgotten about me either.
*sigh*
I am going to go wash my car while it is real nice outside.
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